To The Man I Chose Over My Ex

I hope that he finds something in her that changes who he is and causes him to love her a lot more than he loved me, because she is in for one long miserable hell of a ride if he doesn’t. I would never wish that upon anyone. The truth of the matter is: I want him to be happy. We weren’t happy together, but there are other people out there that we can actually enjoy our lives with. There was no trust, too much anger, too much jealousy, too much possessiveness. I can’t be with someone like that.

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We planned to meet in a dingy bar on Broadway Street in Nashville and to be honest, I considered ditching you. It was only about 11 PM and my ex had already texted me, asking me to leave the bars and come to his place. In that moment, I thought about it, I really did. I missed him and I wanted to be with him, but he just moved to Nashville and I knew it would never work. He wasn’t the type to put in the effort that a long-distance relationship requires and we both knew it was time for things to be over. But he had a way with me. To put it bluntly, I was like a cracked-out meth head when it came to him. It never mattered how pissed off I was, he always found his way back to me, smiling and pretending…

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You Don’t Have to Care About Feminism — But At Least Understand What It Is

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Today I saw a Tumblr post about Shailene Woodley, the actor from Divergent, giving an interview about why she doesn’t consider herself a feminist. In short, she states that she doesn’t agree with feminism because it’s based on the idea of “raising women to power, and taking the men away from power”. She believes that there should be a fine balance between men and women in power, and having only one or the other wouldn’t work. She states that men can’t respect women because women don’t respect each other, and are constantly putting one another down.

While I think Shailene is a bit confused as to what the definition of feminism actually is, I understood her sentiment as I read the article. I wasn’t particularly offended by what she said but I was, however, I was a bit distressed by the comments on the post. One Tumblr user…

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10 Important Lessons My Mother Taught Me

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1. Write ‘Thank You’ notes.

Write them for your teachers after you leave the school you’re in, write them after you go on a job, write them after you tour a school for college, write them to people who wouldn’t expect them. In a world full of technology, ‘thank you’ notes make you stand out. However, don’t buy cards that say ‘thank you’ on them. Buy blank cards. Apparently the one’s that already say ‘thank you’ are tacky — unless it’s written in Shakespeare: “Evermore, thanks” is acceptable. Write about what that person did to touch you or help you grow as a person, or in the case of a job interview, thank them for taking time out of their schedule.

2. When you’re invited into somebody’s home, whether that is for a small party or to spend the night, bring a hostess gift!

Chocolate is always acceptable. So is…

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The Email I Received That Every Girl Needs To Read

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My friends and I enjoy emailing each other at work. Partially because we feel like adults while doing so, but mostly because we can conceal that fact that we’re not doing work. One particular friend of mine and I were chatting about – what else – dating and heartbreak. We both have been “getting back on the horse” after experiencing the dissolution of serious relationships we were very invested in. Some days, we feel empowered. And some days, we would prefer the choice of staying in bed and googling the pros and cons of a lobectomy. After shooting her an email about the fear of not being remembered by an ex-boyfriend, she sent the following email back to me. It brought me to tears, and to my senses. I hope it can help any other girl or guy who may be feeling less than spectacular. (Names have been changed because duh.)

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How I show her how to love.

In the middle of a crowded airport food court in Kentucky, I thought about my daughter. The one who doesn’t exist yet. The one who might never exist though I’ve already written her countless letters and etched her little notes on the edges of my diary pages.

HANNAH BRENCHER

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In the middle of a crowded airport food court in Kentucky, I thought about my daughter. The one who doesn’t exist yet. The one who might never exist though I’ve already written her countless letters and etched her little notes on the edges of my diary pages.

In the middle of a crowded airport food court in Kentucky, I thought about my daughter and I thought about shoes. How one day, I might use the topic of shoes to inch my way into a conversation with her about great love stories.

When I lived in New York City, I remember calling my friend up one night on the commute home from work. I’d been struck on the subway by (what I thought) was a really amazing plan.

“So I could go to Good Will or some place like that and buy a bunch of shoes. I could get a…

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16 Things You Don’t Owe Anybody (Though It Often Feels Like You Do)

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1. An outward appearance that aligns with what other people deem appropriate and ideal. Too often I hear people hesitate to, say, get a tattoo or dye their hair or wear something “funky” out of fear of what the parents or friends or so-and-so’s in their lives will say and think. Those other people do not have ownership of your body, and it’s audacious of them to think that their opinions on what you choose to do with it matter.

2. Explanations for why you put your job first. I used to be a bona fide work-a-holic, but recently I’ve found that it’s far more important that I divide my time equally and healthfully. However, there’s one major catch: sometimes we have to prioritize, and work has to come first. It’s not about not caring about others or not “having a life,” but about the fact that you want to…

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